Why Don’t More Men Go To Therapy?

Just an opinion by Dr. Stephanie Vaughn…

Bottom line? Therapy has a branding problem.

I scrolled past another patronizing social media post from a therapy influencer account and rolled my eyes. I’m sure you’ve seen the post: a misty mountain background, maybe a forest trail, and a lone silhouette, leaping, climbing, or possibly suffering in a vague, artistic adjacent way. This one promised it was “proud” of me.

My automatic, intrusive thought? “F*** youuuu.”

Why so bitter? Don’t get me started. Anyone who knows me knows I’m aggressively anti-woo when it comes to therapy marketing. [Side note: I dare you to find a mental health template online that doesn’t involve nature, a Buddha statue, a chair, or a feather.]

Here’s the weird thing: I’m not against the techniques. I actually use (almost) all of them in therapy: Breathwork, guided visualization, inner child stuff, positive thinking, affirmations, nature metaphors, “energy work,” meditation, lovingkindness. I’ll use what works. I don’t care how weird it seems if it’s legal and it can actually help someone.

But here’s the problem. There are a lot of people, particularly those with a lot of “masculine energy,” who see that kind of warm n’ fuzzy thing and immediately conclude therapy isn’t for them. Oh, they’ll take “coaching” …sometimes. Why? Because coaching doesn’t usually include potentially patronizing messages like being congratulated for getting out of bed. And that’s why I get frustrated. If someone who needs help won’t reach out because the branding gives them the ick, no one can help them. Most of the men I see (and plenty of women too!) hate being lumped into that soft-focus, warm-and-fuzzy aesthetic. They came because our messaging was different. More practical. Less touchy feely. It resonated. It didn’t feel like therapy was automatically going to involve a kumbaya drum circle. I had a male psychopharm professor who used to call psychotherapy “basket-weaving.”

The mental health field shouts from the rooftops about “erasing the stigma,” but is not strategic about how it’s done. It’s not truly inclusive. It only includes those who agree with it’s tenets. But people who disagree also need therapy. Here’s my unpopular opinion: Many therapy practices are actually reinforcing the stigma they claim to fight because they’re only speaking to one personality type.

The PSYCHē brand calls also to the skeptics. The cynics. The high-achievers. The snarky. The ones who pride themselves on being tough. And the people who want a problem solved.

I suspect that at least part of the reason for this gap in care is because historically, therapists weren’t even allowed to market. Branding for therapists is still awkward new territory. That’s why ninety percent of therapy marketing looks like it’s aimed squarely at boho women in their 40’s. Unless we’re talking substance use treatment. Those sites are slightly more varied, though you’ll usually still spot a sunshine icon, heart hands, or potted plant somewhere on the page.

Point is, a lot of potential clients aren’t avoiding therapy because they think it’s useless. They’re avoiding it because it looks—cringe (as the kids say). Therapy needs a rebrand, one that shows there’s more than one way. More than one tone. More than one type of person. More than one style.

Because let’s be for real. Some folks aren’t coming to the party because the party looks like it’s got boundary issues

and reeks of patchouli.

About PSYCHē

We found your therapist.

Our goal is simple: We want to connect you with your perfect therapist. The first step is to meet online with an expert PSYCHē clinician who knows the right questions to ask to find out what kind of therapist will be the best fit for you. After hearing your history, goals, and what you’re looking for (and NOT looking for!) we go to work getting you scheduled with someone who can help. Why wait? Leave the searching to us.

Here’s why we do what we do:

Finding a good therapist is hard — we should know. We’ve been hiring, training and supervising therapists since 2009. Not all of them make the cut or stand the test of time. We find good THERAPISTS, not business owners or social media experts, so you get matched with the right clinician the first time. And if it doesn’t work out, we’re here to make it right.

No online directory can make that promise.

A directory tells only part of the story. Just because your neighbor likes someone doesn’t mean they’re a fit for you. The fact is, finding the right therapist can be exhausting. That’s why we’ve done the work for you. Let us pair you with a great therapist. First, book a consultation with one of our in-house therapists who will ask the right questions to find out exactly what you’re looking for.  Next, our team of expert clinicians will work their professional magic to pair you with YOUR perfect therapist.  The only step left is meeting your therapist and…doing therapy! 

You shouldn’t have to find your own therapist.

Sifting through hundreds of therapist profiles online is probably NOT how you want to be spending your time. Word-of-mouth is great, but it’s not always available… and you may not want to see the same therapist as your neighbor or co-worker. We all know that online reviews are biased and the bottom line is, it can be hard to get an idea of what someone is really like until you actually meet them. That takes work, time, and in the case of therapy, money. We’ve done the work for you so finding a therapist for yourself or a loved one doesn’t have to feel like your second job.

If we don’t have the right therapist, we’ll find the right therapist.

Our goal is to contract with good therapists in every state, each with expertise in specific areas. If there is a therapist you need but we don’t have, give us some time and we’ll locate one. Don’t like the therapist we matched you with? No problem, we’ll find another—and you won’t have to go through the annoyance and hassle of doing another information gathering session. Our job is to find you YOUR therapist so you can do your job and feel better fast.